Similarities...

Sneaky fucks...
Watchmen (2009)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

(He)art exhibition...

There's a certain obsession I have with bad apples. Criminals: murderers, thieves, gangsters. There's something oddly charming about the bad things they do. I hate violence, but it fascinates me. Not your everyday thug. Not every robber, killer, rapist. Nothing like that. But some of these charismatic criminals seem to have such charm that you begin to side with them, despite knowing what they do is inherently wrong. I find it alluring and attractive, in a sinister way. It's not something I could find myself becoming involved in. It most definitely is not part of my world. Fact remains, however, that there is something attractive about it. I have no idea why, and I choose not to explore it; rather just be fascinated by it. I could fall easily in love with the criminal, maybe not so much the crime.

My top 25 comedians...

Don't need to explain really, just look them up.

25. Lee Mack
24. Ross Noble
23. Linda Smith
22. Jasper Carrot
21. Gilbert Gottfried
20. Steve Martin
19. Stewart Lee
18. Robin Williams
17. Sam Kinison
16. Jackie Mason
15. Emo Phillips
14. George Carlin
13. Tony Hawks
12. Dave Allen
11. Dylan Moran
10. Sean Hughes
9. Tim Vine
8. Mitch Hedberg
7. Sarah Silverman
6. Alexei Sayle
5. Arther Smith
4. Doug Stanhope
3. Richard Herring
2. Rob Newman
1. Richard Pryor

Just to point out a few notable exceptions:
Reeves & Mortimer - I love them to bits, but didn't want to include double acts.
Bill Hicks & Lenny Bruce - whilst I'm a big fan of both, they don't get in my top comedians list. I saw them more as pioneers than as necessarily amazingly funny.
Brendon Burns - I ramble on about him all the time lately, but I only got into him from a friend's suggestion this year, so I'm likely to have a current thing. He's just not quite up there with these guys.
Demetri Martin - I love Demetri, but again, not quite there, probably somewhere from 25-30.
Lee Evans - if you think he's funny, you're probably as much of a cunt as he is.
Current comedians - does exactly what it says on the tin.

So...

It's been a while. Tomorrow I'll be posting a list of my top 25 comedians. Woo.

Falling for falling asteroids...

He dances with the children beneath the pear trees
Making wishes for rain and casting spells on nature
Setting traps to catch his dinner to feed his waiting cages
Connecting gazes with their amphetamine eyes
"Run free, run free, run free to his world of irony"
Reach inside for another Kerouac dessert of ice cream and apple pie
We've got clouds and rain and sunshine and fame
A deep set memory of a lonely Cornish holiday
Me, I'm just falling for falling asteroids
I can't wait until the moon explodes

I was wrong...

I've been busy and beset with a bit of a tragedy.
So the lists will be up by the end of January.
A message to nobody.

Pedro the Lion - Indian Summer...

Ultra-violet rays are washing over all the boys and girls
As their moms lay tanning by the pool
Oh, look, their dad's arriving home
And all the children hug his neck unaware of their inheritence
All of the experts say you ought to start them young
That way they'll naturally love the taste of corporate cum

God bless the Indian summer
God bless the Indian summer
God bless the Indian summerDon't you just love the sun?

Doesn't it make you feel good, all over?
It's my pleasure to announce
In conjunction with the fed
And my recent popularity

Thanks in part to Mother Nature
It will never rain again
It should do wonders for the GNP

If you're just joining us now
You missed a brilliant speech
We go now live to the streets
To find out what the voters think
He's worked a miracle
I just now bought a brand new car

God bless the Indian summer
God bless the Indian summer
God bless the Indian summer

Not my words, but great words all the same.