Lately...

I've been a bit fucked up.
Tired, ill, etc...
Constantly.
I've been stupidly despressed.
I've been drinking too much.
I've been forgetting important things.
I've been forgetting important people.
I'm finding that the only way I can really get a focus on what's going is when I stumble across a song that relates to part or the whole of one or all of my current situations... and then I can't relay that through myself to talk to other people.
I'm just stuck with songs.

I've suffered with depression for most of my life.
I have it under control.
But lately I've been freaking out.
There's nobody I really feel that I can discuss my shit with.
While I'm not going completely mental or getting suicidal, it's still an issue.
It's not that I'm unhappy in general.
That's never been the point.
I just don't know how to express myself when I'm down.
I guess I'm writing this on here because I don't think anybody ever reads it.
And if they do, then it's easier to say this in print to myself than out loud to anybody.

I'm in love but not in love.
I'm happy but not happy.
I'm energetic but tired.
I'm excited but bored.
I'm confident but self-loathing.

My life is fine.
Things are going well.
Overall, I feel good.
I guess I just don't feel like I'm quite there yet.

That was probably a terrible explanation.
But fuck it, nobody reads anyway.
I know what I'm saying.